31

On New Years Eve as Brian, Kevin, Ashley and I were sitting in the bar section of Hard Rock Cafe in Downtown Atlanta I happened to mention out loud, and amongst our group that I couldn't believe how Brian and I would both be turning 31 this year. 31! I shouted, "I can't believe we'll be 31!" During my exclamation moment Brian and I are looking at each other and he has the oddest expression on his face. Almost as if he can't believe or quite understand why I am saying what I am saying and then it hits me, smack in the face. I realize what I just shouted out for all to hear. I'm turning 31 this year. My brother was 31 when he died. I will now be the same age as my brother, who was born four years before me. yay. It's funny that so much of my life, now, is consumed with thoughts of him when so little was while he was alive. It's no secret at this point that we didn't get along growing up and we spent most of our time fighting with each other rather than getting to know each other as people instead of just as siblings. It's also no secret that I regret the fact that he was taken from my family just when things started to really fall into place for him in life and he was finally settling down, or at least trying to. I don't understand why God chooses the people that he does to leave this Earth so early in life, while others who have raped, murdered and killed are destined to live out their days here with most of us paying taxes on their 9x9 jail cell. I know I'm not the first to ask that question, nor will I be the last, but certainly somewhere someone has received the answer to this question through God's grace they have heard His reply. Surely there is a person out there who has the answer to this, but hasn't shared it yet. I think we all hold answers to a question someone has asked, only we don't know it. Will mine ever be answered?